


Just Like Old Times

by chantalis



Series: Jay Halstead x Reader [1]
Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, I was mad at him when I wrote it sorry, Jay and the reader are Army buddies, Protective Jay, Severide is a jerk in this, reader is a target, same thing with Gabby and Erin, single mom, very vilolent case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantalis/pseuds/chantalis
Summary: Jay Halstead, someone you were in the rangers with, is thrust back into your life along with imminent danger directed at you and your daughter. Good thing is, Jay is hell-bent on protecting both of you.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Reader, Kelly Severide/Reader
Series: Jay Halstead x Reader [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986109
Kudos: 23





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my first fics, so I hadn't found my groove and writing style just yet, and the writing tense might change in later chapters, so please be kind.

Gaffney Chicago Medical Centre was always busy. Certain parts were busier than others, of course. The ED was always hectic, leading to long irregular hours, making me glad that I didn’t work in that department. I am an orthopedic surgeon, I still have the long hours, but they are much less irregular than those who work in the ED. I do, however, get called down to consult on cases. 

I hadn’t even entered the ED yet and already I could hear the chaos flourishing within. Steeling myself, I walk into the ED and to Dr. Halstead when I see him. “Dr. Halstead, you called me down for a consult?”

“Yes, please follow me, the patient’s this way.” He lead me into a room where a teenager and her parents were speaking to one another in worried tones. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cheng, this is Dr. (Y/L/N), they’re an orthopedic surgeon here, I called them down for a consult so that we can get an expert opinion on what course of action to take for your daughter’s leg.” All that they could do was nod. Dr. Halstead handed me a tablet that contained the patient’s x-rays. I sighed. “Ms. Cheng, you have what is called a comminuted fracture, that’s when a physical trauma like a car crash causes a fracture that splinters or fragments off into multiple pieces. You will need surgery so that I can put nails in your bone to stabilize your leg and keep in together so that it can heal, and you’ll need a cast after that. Do you or your parents have any questions or concerns? And since you’re a minor I will need consent from your parents in order to operate.”

The three of them were opening and closing their mouths, looking on the verge of tears. I was clear as day that none of them had considered receiving any kind of news like this.

When I got home all I wanted to do was take a long, hot bath. Unfortunately, that was going to have to wait, because when I entered my apartment it was clear by missing objects and state of disarray that I had been robbed. Well, fuck. 

“(Y/L/N)?”

You turn around and see the person you thought you’d never see again. Jay Halstead. “Halstead? What are you doing here?” 

“What, not happy to see me?”

“Just surprised, that’s all. Truthfully, I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Same here, but we’re seeing each other now. How have you been?”

“Aside from the fact that my apartment was robbed earlier today, good.”

“Damn. This is your apartment? I was really hoping that you were just a neighbour.”

“Why?”

“I, uh, I’m a detective now, with the intelligence unit in the CPD. My partner detective Erin Lindsay, co-workers detectives Antonio Dawson and Kevin Atwater, and I have been sent to the scene because...”

“Because?” My voice was so small, I was terrified of the answer. The only reason I was asking was because of my daughter who, thankfully, was at a sleepover. Jay looked at me, desperation written all over his face. He let out a deep sigh and ran his hand over his face. When his hand was back at his side he straightened himself out and looked me in the eye. “We’re tracking a group of thieves who, when the victims are home...” Jay fidgeted and looked extremely uncomfortable, “when the victims are home the men are beaten to death, kids are locked in closets, and the women are raped.” A thick, tense silence sandwiched itself between us. “And if the victims weren’t home? Do they go after the victims again?” My heart had dropped to my stomach, and at the look on Jay’s face, my stomach dropped to the floor. “Yes. They do.” 

My mind started moving at unrecognized speeds. First, I had to get Calanthe. “(Y/N)? Are you okay? (Y/N)?”

“I need to go get my daughter.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Yes, she’s six years old, her name is Calanthe, and she’s at a friend’s house for a sleepover and I need to go get her right now.” I turned to run to my car when Jay stopped me. “Give me the address and I’ll drive over there, pick her up, and bring her to the station. Dawson and Atwater will drive you to the station. We, the intelligence unit, want to keep a close eye on all the victims, so you and your daughter will have to stay at the station until a suitable protection detail has been arranged. Okay? Dawson, Atwater, take her to the station. Lindsay, let’s go, we have to pick her daughter up from a friend’s house and place a squad car there, too, just in case.” His voice wasn’t angry, demanding, or raised. Jay just added an authoritative tone to his voice that I’d recognized from our days in the rangers. I straightened up and gave him my full attention when he gave those commands, even though none of them were to me. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see that it had the same effect on his fellow detectives. They seemed stunned at his behaviour, but he needed to get Calanthe, so I didn’t particularly care about what they were thinking about Jay’s show of leadership.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in a police station.

You were sitting on the couch in the break room with your daughter curled up in your lap. You were brushing your fingers through her hair. “Y/N?” You looked up and see Jay, he had dark, concerning bags under his eyes. “Jay, are you alright?”

“No. You’re in danger and so is your daughter.”

“What’s happening now?”

“Police protection is still being arranged for you two and Ruzek and Olinsky are following up on a lead.” He sighed, looking at me with sad eyes. “I’m worried about you and Calanthe. When I went to pick her up, man, she was terrified. She thought that something had happened to you. She really loves you.”

“I love her too, with everything I have.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. I’m sorry that I didn’t keep in touch.”

“Don’t be, I could’ve kept in touch too but after getting discharged it was too difficult being around other vets. I fell apart honestly, that’s kinda why Calanthe’s father and I got together, we were both messes who didn’t want to acknowledge that there was something wrong. The only reason that I went back to the VA and to therapy was because I found out about Calanthe.

“If you don’t mind my asking, who’s her father?”

“My ex, we broke up before I found out I was pregnant. He didn’t want to be a dad, I didn’t want him a part of her life because he’s a borderline alcoholic and was pretty standoffish when drunk.”

“What’s his name?”

“Are you asking because of the investigation or out of curiousity?”

“A bit of both, but mostly curiosity. I wonder who was stupid enough to not give you everything you deserve. You both deserve.”

“You always did think too highly of me.”

“You are the most intelligent, badass, beautiful person I have ever met. Believe me, I don’t think too highly of you.” He sat down beside you and wrapped an arm around you. You leaned onto his shoulder and relish in the feeling you thought you’d never come in contact with again. “Kelly Severide.”

“What?!” His entire body went rigid, and his eyes flew open. “Kelly Severide is Calanthe’s father?”

“Yes, why is that such a big deal?”

“I know him, work with him on a regular basis, he’s a... friend.” He spat out ‘friend’ as if the word was made of venom. “Jay, don’t act like that. It’s okay if he’s your friend. We split amicably, and instead of child support, he started a college fund. He can’t put all that much in it because being a firefighter doesn’t pay that well, but I put money in there too, and at the end of the day I think it’s the thought that counts.” Jay muttered something under his breath. You sighed. “Jay?” The hand he had on his lap was clenching and unclenching. His jaw was locked and his eyes were burning. “Jay, please don’t. I am happy with the way things worked out. He didn’t want to be a part of her life and I didn’t want him here. We’re okay, Jay.” His head turned to look at you. Eyes boring into yours, searching for any kind of sign that you were lying. “Okay.” Jay finally concluded. You smiled and went back to leaning into him with your head on his shoulder. You felt a small chuckle vibrate through him before you felt a small kiss on your forehead.

“We should wake them up.”

“What? No! Look at them, they’re so peaceful. Let them sleep.”

“Yeah, let my mom sleep.” It was hearing your daughter’s voice that sent a bolt of panic through your body, causing your eyes to burst open. “Calanthe?”

“Good morning mom. I slept really well. You and Jay are super duper soft and super duper warm!” Still lying on your side, you chuckled at your daughter’s vocabulary. You tried to sit up but found you were wrapped up in a pair of very strong arms. You felt something on top of the side of your face. You tried wiggling to get free, glaring at the smiling detectives. “Hmmm... Where are you going?”

“Uh... Jay? It’s time to get up...” In response, his arms coiled tighter around you and his face turned and buried itself in your neck. “Hmmm...” Your face grew incredibly warm and you looked at the detectives and your daughter, trying to find someone to help you up. As nice as it was to reminisce about when you and Jay used to fall asleep like this, you needed to get up. Now. Before ideas grew in the mind of your smiling daughter, before Mouse started talking about old times, before you started to fall into unrequited love again. You looked at all of the detectives, eyes pleading for assistance. They were all smiling, happy at what they were seeing, except for one. A woman with shoulder-length brown hair and an unsettling glare plastered on her face. Even with blatant jealousy in her eyes, it became clear she wasn’t going to interfere. You took a deep breath before coming up with a mischievous plan. “Jay, Captain Andrews is coming!” Immediately, Jay let go of you and bolted up straight. He came out of his haze, sighed and looked at you. “Not cool Y/L/N.” You laughed and sat up. Taking another look around the room you extended your arms for your daughter. “Sorry for falling asleep, and then sleeping in so late. Have you had breakfast, sweetheart?”

“Yeah! Uncle Mousie got me pancakes and bacon and orange juice! It was really good.”

“I bet it was.”

“Dr. Y/L/N, you didn't sleep in that late, just so you know, and Calanthe has only been up for about half an hour. It’s only 9:30” The brown-haired woman told you with a self-deprecating smile. “I got breakfast for you and Jay, too, Y/N, it’s in the fridge, you’ll just have to heat the food up.”

“Thanks, Mouse.” You got up and gave him a hug. “Yeah, thanks Mouse,” Jay said somewhat bitterly before opening the fridge and getting two containers of food ready to heat up in the microwave. You gave a confused look to Mouse who devilishly and knowingly smirked in return. “Has the police protection been set up for them yet, Voight?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Well, they were here. Why would they need police protection when they were in Intelligence with us?”

“Um, maybe because they need to be somewhere that has beds? And is not a shared office for a bunch of cops?”

“We’ve got some psychos on the street Halstead, don’t you think that’s more important?”

“Are seriously trying to suggest that protecting victims isn’t an important part of our job right now?” You were beginning to feel uncomfortable, it was like watching a family arguing in front of you. You stood behind Calanthe and put your hands on her shoulders. “Alright, Halstead, enough of the drama” Jay’s eyes flared “I need you to contact your CI’s see if they know anything.” The rage in Jay’s eyes continued to burn. “Why don’t we just stay with you?” Calanthe’s little voice broke the tension in the room. “That’s a great idea, Calanthe. What do you think, Y/N? It’ll be just like old times.” You were going to regret this. You were going to regret this so, so much. “As long as we're not imposing.”

“Of course you’re not. It’s settled then, you’ll stay with me until we catch these guys. I’ll quickly talk to Platt about getting patrol cars placed at your work, Calanthe’s school, and my place.” Jay walked out of the breakroom with a smile on his face and a spring in his step, coffee in hand. Beep. Beep. “Uh, Jay, your breakfast’s done.” He turned before going down the stairs, “You have it, I’ll heat up the other container later.” One cheeky wink later and he was out of sight.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Jay mode is engaged, and he gets to know Calanthe.

It had been three days and your life was still chaotic. “Calanthe, time for breakfast! You can’t stay in bed all day, sleepypants.”

“But mooooooooom...”

“I made scrambled eggs with chive, but if you don’t want them...”

“No! I want them!” She bolted out of Jay’s guest bed and sprinted towards the kitchen. You chuckled before following your daughter. You leaned on the wall near the kitchen and watched as Jay served Calanthe some eggs and toast. You smiled fondly at the scene before you. “Your mom’s the best cook, isn’t she?”

“Yeah she is!”

“Thanks, guys. So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Let’s go to the aquarium! I wanna see the belugas!”

“Sorry, kiddo, but we need to stay here, it’ll be easier to keep you two safe that way. How about we watch a movie?”

“We did that yesterday. And the day before that.”

“I know, but we have to stay here.”

“But I don’t want to stay here, Jay. It’s boring!”

“Calanthe, how about we build a pillow fort and tell stories?” You intervened, trying to keep everyone from getting upset. Calanthe and Jay seemed to have bonded quite quickly, and you wanted to preserve that. Calanthe held her breath for a moment, visibly thinking about it. “Okay.” You smiled, you knew she’d agree, she couldn’t say ‘no’ to a pillowfort. The three of you collected all the pillows, blankets, and sheets you could find in Jay’s apartment. Once all of you had gotten comfortable inside the pillowfort, Calanthe turned to you. “Mom, you go first!” You chuckled and began weaving a tale about a girl befriending a gargoyle and going on an adventure in the catacombs. Calanthe was beaming, focusing on each word that left your lips. You spared a glance at Jay and almost faltered. The way he was looking at you, heavy and wanting to remind you of what almost was. Your throat went dry and your chest constricted, but you managed to finish your story with a flourish. “And when the sun was about to rise she hugged Hugo one last time before he returned to his position at the base of the tower, facing the much more famous, but much younger, Notre Dame. Or the ruins of it at least. The end.”

“Yes! I loved that one, mom!” Then she turned to Jay, “now it’s your turn!” He looked shell-shocked for a moment. “I don’t know, Calanthe, I’m not very good at making up stories...”

“Then tell a story from your childhood or something.” He sighed heavily before staring to the side, trying to remember something. “Alright, this one time when Will and I were kids we decided to prank our mean next-door neighbour...” Jay sat up straight as a wide smile spread across his face, his hands were gesturing wildly, and a true form of excitement you hadn't seen in years radiated from his eyes. “... We were still laughing our asses off on Will’s bed, peeking out the window when we could, and then our dad burst in his face was so red! I’d never seen him that angry before, but for some reason we only found it hilarious! He was stuttering sentences together and his hands were waving around, and then he stepped on a piece of lego! He started jumping around on his one good leg before he was able to walk out of our room. He didn’t speak to Will or I for two weeks! It was fantastic!” You and Calanthe were rolling on your backs laughing. You were starting to feel a stitch in your side and your eyes were watering. Calanthe was tearing up too and started to choke out “Haha-I-can’t-breathe! Hahahahahaha!” Even Jay had succumbed to the relentless onslaught of laughter his story had caused. The laughter began to cease when Jay’s cell phone rang. Doing his best not to laugh like a hyena, he answered the phone. “Halstead.” When his face immediately sobered, you and Calanthe stopped laughing too. You put your arm around her and brought her close. “Are you sure?... Absolutely sure? One hundred and ten percent sure? Okay, okay. I’ll tell them. Thanks, Voight.” He hung up and looked at you. “The team caught them. You guys are safe.” His eyes darted between you and Calanthe. “YES! WE CAN GO HOME NOW! Not that I won’t miss you or that staying with you hasn’t been awesome, but I miss being able to go to the park. WOOHOO! THIS IS AMAZING!” You and Jay looked at each other laughing as you watched your little ball of energy run around Jay’s living room cheering with her arms up. There was a hint of... what you thought was sadness on his face. But that couldn’t be it. Why would he be sad? Suddenly Calanthe stopped running and cheering. “We’ll see Jay again, right?”

“Of course! I mean... if you’re okay with that, Jay...”

“Yes! More than okay with that, actually” A warm smile spread across his face and you felt your heart skip a beat.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were paged to head down to the ED for a consult. “Dr. Choi? I’m Dr. Y/L/N, you asked for a consult.”

“Yeah, right in here, the patient broke an arm trying to outrun the police during a bust.” You nodded and followed Dr. Choi into a room with police guarding the door while looking at the man’s x-rays. “Well, Mr. Andrews it looks like you have a clean break. You’ll need a cast, but you won’t need surgery which is a good thing.” You smiled, you tried to be friendly with all of your patients, understanding that they came from all walks of life and may not have control of the situation they’re in. “I don’t want your help, bitch.” He then spat on you, causing you to recoil as the two officers entered the room to restrain him. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Look, Mr. Andrews, I won’t treat you if you don’t want me to, but I highly recommend treatment.” He tried to lunge off the bed at you, but the officers held him back. “What’s going on here?” A familiar voice boomed into the room. Jay’s eyes were hard and furious, you briefly flashed back to his argument with Sgt. Voight in the Intelligence break room. “Jay, I’m fine, okay? Everything’s fine.” Jay’s gaze cut to you quickly, and softened, then hardened again when he turned his eyes back to Mr. Andrews. You were an ex-female Ranger medic. You were used to sexist and occasionally violent patients. “Well, when will he be discharged so I can take him in for questioning?”

“Well, Mr. Andrews refused the only remaining treatment we offered him so he can be discharged now, actually.”

“I changed my mind! I want to get my arm cast!” Jay snorted and rolled his eyes at the man on the hospital bed. “Of course.” His phone buzzed. He took a look at it and sighed, “I have to call Voight, let me know when he can go Y/L/N?”

“Of course Halstead.” As he turned to leave he quietly told the officers “If he threatens her, moves a muscle, puts her in any danger, shoot him.” You heard him shift to look at you, but your back was to him as you’d started getting the necessary equipment together to cast your patient, “Non-lethally.” He finished the order quietly. You heard murmurs of affirmation and he left. You couldn’t tell if he knew you heard or not. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calanthe was babbling about her day as you were making dinner. She was excited because Jay was coming over for Saturday night dinners. It had been made a habit after your stint in protective custody. You were making borscht, something you hadn’t made in a while, but Calanthe always loved it. You were hoping Jay would, too. Just as the food was finished there was a knock at the door. You rolled your eyes and went to open the door, because despite the fact that you gave Jay a key he used it scarcely. You opened the door to see two stone-faced detectives. “Detective Dawson, Detective Lindsay, how can I help you?” You frowned, they were wearing their badges and looked like they were here for work. “Y/N, we have some bad news, you might want to sit down.” You nodded numbly and sat on the couch, away from Calanthe who was still seated at the kitchen island. “Hi guys! Are you here for dinner, too?” Calanthe was so young, and couldn’t have possibly read the situation correctly. You looked at Dawson. “I’ll stay with her.” He stood up and went to the kitchen. You looked at Lindsay tears forming in the corners of your eyes. “Please tell me Jay’s not dead. Please.”

“He’s not dead. But he was shot and he’s at MED now, you’re his emergency contact, and Voight thought it’d be better if we told you in person, and one of us staying with Calanthe while you go to the hospital. Presuming you even want to go-”

“Of course I want to go. I want to see him.”

“Alright.” Lindsay sighed and nodded begrudgingly. The ride over was tense. “I get the feeling that you don’t like me. I’m just curious as to why.”

“Y/N can we not talk about this?”

“Alright, fine. I just... You’re Jay’s partner, and Jay is important to me, so I feel like I should get to know you better. But you’re always glaring at me or avoiding me, and I just don’t know what I did to you.” She responded with silence, so you sighed and followed her lead for the rest of the trip.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat in the waiting room with Will and the Intelligence team, minus Dawson because he was with Calanthe. You and Will were sitting side by side, sharing your strength. Across from you, Erin had her arms across her chest, glaring at you. You were leaving it alone, but Will couldn’t. “What’s with you lately, Lindsay? Why are you glaring at Y/N?” He was snapping and you knew it had to do with worrying about Jay, so you tried to calm him down. “Will, take a deep breath.”

“No. She’s been glaring at you and fighting with Jay because he’s not in love with her anymore!”

“You’re wrong! Jay still loves me! The only reason we haven’t gotten back together yet is because he found out he got this bitch pregnant and she didn’t tell him!” You were shocked. Is that what everyone thought? “Regardless of whether or not Calanthe is Jay’s daughter, you have no right to treat Y/N like this! You should know how much she means to him!”

“Yeah, and it’s her fault he was even shot in the first place!”

“What?” You choked out. You were responsible for Jay being shot? “Yeah. You heard me. It’s your fault! If Jay hadn’t been so distracted talking about you, he wouldn’t have been shot!” You burst into tears, you felt your heart go cold. You didn’t want to believe it was your fault, but you had to. What Erin said, the way the rest of Intelligence was looking at you, you knew she was right. Jay was in surgery and it was all your fault. You tried to get up and leave, knowing you didn’t belong here, but Will wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kept you in your chair. “No, Y/N, it’s not your fault. Just... stay, until he can see you. Please.”

“Will, I don’t-”

“He’s right, Y/N, it’s not your fault. Plus, Jay will want to see you when he wakes up.”

“But what Erin said, the way you guys looked at me-”

“What Voight just said is true, Y/N. It really isn’t your fault. And what Erin said... she took out of context.” Kevin smiled at you then turned to give Erin a dirty look. You nodded and leaned back in your seat, distressed, worried, and confused.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Rhodes told all of you hours ago when Jay was out of surgery, but he still hadn’t woken up yet. You, Will, and Erin were sitting by Jay’s bed. You and Will were on either side, each holding one of his hands. Erin sat near his feet glaring at you both and muttering under her breath. You were trying to ignore her but it was hard when you could hear her saying some nasty things about you.

Suddenly Jay’s eyes fluttered open and his breathing sped up. The three of you stood up. You moved to lean over him, get a better look at his face, but Erin shoved you out of the way and took your place. “Jay, I’m here.” She cooed, her face and voice deceptively soft. “N-no... N oo... Y/... N... Y/N... Y/N...” He was blinking and breathing rapidly, panicking, searching the room, and when his eyes landed on you, he calmed. “Y/N.” He called out to you desperately, trying to wiggle his hand out of Erin’s grasp. “Y/N!” His breaking voice and pleading eyes brought tears to your eyes. You saw Will gesture to come around to the side of the bed where he was, so you did. Jay’s eyes following your form as you went. “Hey, Jay, how do you feel?”

“A hell of a lot better now that you’re here.” You laughed, “Jay, that was so cheesy. I’m really glad that you’re okay.” You ran your hands through his hair, his soft eyes taking in your face. He sighed and leaned into your touch. “I love you Y/N.” You stroked his face and hair, making him sleepy. “I love you too, Jay. Get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.” Jay smiled, sighed, and let his eyes close and his breathing even out.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets discharged from the hospital.

Jay was having you and Calanthe stay with him, much to Erin’s dismay. He needed to either stay with someone or have someone stay with him to make sure that he was actually resting, not pulling his stitches, and replacing the bandages. Will was still patching things up with Natalie, even though Nat full-heartedly supported Jay staying with them or the other way around, Jay didn’t want to put them in that position. Besides all your stuff was still at his place. Now that Calanthe was allowed to go outside, staying somewhere that wasn’t her home was fine. Today she was staying at her friend’s house while you and Jay got everything settled. Jay was sitting on the couch, completely out of his mind on morphine, watching ‘Kung Fu Panda’ for the third time in a row. From the glazed look in his eyes, you didn’t think he was paying any attention. “Jay? Would you like some food?”

“Sure. After the movie, so I can sit at the table?”

“... Jay this is the third time you’ve watched this movie since you came home from the hospital which was four and a half hours ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Here, I’ll bring you some of the borscht.”

“You made me borscht?” Jay was crying as you brought the bowl and a TV tray over to him. “Jay, what’s wrong? Do you want anything else? I can make something else.”

“NO DON’T. I love borscht. I love YOUR borscht. I’m just so happy you made it.”

“Actually I made it the night you were shot...” Your voice was quiet but he still heard you. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? You can’t exactly help getting shot.”

“I know, but I love you and Calanthe and I didn’t want to worry either of you. I was so happy that you brought her to visit yesterday, I’d missed that little ball of energy.”

“Yeah, she’s precious, isn’t she?”

“How did she react to the news?” You sighed. “Jay, I don’t think-”

“Please.” His voice was hoarse but his eyes were a little less glazed and earnest. “She cried. A lot.”

“I’m so sorry, I never wanted to make her cry-”

“You didn’t make her cry-”

“I want to make her happy-”

“You do-”

“Take her to the park and baseball games-”

“You can still do that once she gets better.”

“I can?”

“Yes, she would love that so much. She loves spending time with you.” He smiled and began to eat again. You rubbed his back starting low going up to his neck and back down again, trying to soothe him. “I dream about you.”

What.

“I dream that we are married, that Calanthe calls me ‘dad’, that we have a dog and a cat, that we have bi-weekly family dinners with Will, Nat, and Owen. I dream that you love me back.”

“Jay?” He angeled himself so that he was staring directly into your eyes, correction, into your soul. “I’ve been in love with you since basic training.” You felt the air vacuum from your lungs and your heart palpitating rapidly in your chest. He stroked your cheek and pressed his forehead to yours. “I’m in love with you, I could never be more grateful for anything other than having you and Calanthe in my life.” He nestled his head in the crook of your neck... and then started to fall asleep. You tried to shake off the shock. “C’mon Jay, let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a long day.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early the next morning there was a knock on the door. You were still going over all that Jay had said last night, contemplating what to do. You were still in love with him, after all these years. You sighed as you set down your mug of tea and went to the door. You looked through the peephole and saw... Kelly? You knew that while Jay wasn’t going to go out to start a fight with him, he didn’t look at the man in the same light anymore since finding out he left you alone when you were pregnant. You opened the door. “Kelly? Are you looking for Jay?”

“No, I’m looking for you actually.”

“Why?”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Really Y/N?”

“Yes, really, tell me now before I slam the door in your face.”

“Y/N why are you acting like this? We split ‘amicably’ didn’t we? Before you knew that you were pregnant? That is what you told Halstead after all.”

“I told him that so he wouldn’t hunt you down.”

“You’re making it sound like I’m some villain.”

“You may not be the villain, but you’re certainly not the good guy either.”

“Y/N I was not the bad-”

“Twenty-four hours after I told you I was pregnant, you cheated on me, dumped me, and then gave me three hundred dollars, and signed form relinquishing your parental rights! You gave me full custody when I wasn’t even three months pregnant and basically said ‘have the baby or get an abortion I don’t care, and here’s three-hundred bucks so you can’t say I never gave you any money’. That was a dick move and even you have to know that. Now tell me what you want so I can go back to the gloriousness that is NOT being in your presence.”

“I have a girlfriend. Things are serious, I want her to meet Calanthe.”

“... You want MY daughter who has never even met you, her biological father, the man who refused to meet her when I asked on her behalf, to meet your girlfriend. Did I get that right?”

“Y/N-”

“Fuck off Kelly, you’re only interested because this will benefit you in some way, I’m not an idiot.”

“She wants to know if I’m good with kids, and when Dawson slipped when meeting her, well, she’s been hounding me about it. She wants to know why I never mentioned her, don’t have pictures, don’t have any kind of custody, and can’t describe what she looks like. What am I supposed to do?”

“How about telling her the truth? That you cheated on and abandoned the mother of your child when she needed you most.”

“HE DID WHAT?!” Your and Kelly’s head snapped to the side to see Will and Nat, each carrying armfuls of groceries, with death in their eyes, and snarls forming on their faces. “Halstead, Manning, how much did you hear?” Kelly was scratching the back of his neck and slowly moving away from them.

“Everything from ‘I have a girlfriend’.”

Well, fuck.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Kelly come to a boiling point.

Natalie had pounced on him before he could fumble out an excuse or explanation. She kicked him in the balls and waited until he was on his knees, his face crinkled together like he’d eaten a peeled lemon whole. When he was compromised from pain, his arms going to cup his groin, she laid the strongest blow you’d seen since O’Loughlin smack your ass in front of Jay. Kelly fell to the ground after a loud crack and began to curl in on himself as the cries and moans of pain bounced off the walls in the corridor. You watched as Natalie Manning retrieved her fallen bags calmly and gracefully. Will’s unsurprised eyes met yours before the love of his life stood beside him, facing you. “So, are you going to let us in?”

“Yeah, sure. You guys want some eggs?”

“With chive?”

“Duh, is there any other way to make them?”

“Eggs with ketchup are my personal favourite.” You and Natalie looked at Will with revulsion clear on your faces. “Not in my house you’re not.”

“Y/N... It’s not your house. It’s actually not a house. It’s Jay’s apartment.”

Will was met with the two unimpressed faces of the women who’d each swept a Halstead off his feet... And reconsidered his breakfast choice. “... Chive is good. Chive is very good.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Calanthe honey, I need to talk to you about something important.” 

“Is Jay okay? He didn’t get hurt again, did he?”

“No, honey, Jay is fine. He actually got tickets for a cubs game tomorrow for all of us.”

“Yay!”

“Yes, it’s going to be a lot of fun, but that’s not the important thing we need to talk about. It’s about your biological father.”

“Oh...”

“He... Contacted... Me recently. He wants to meet you. If you want to meet him, I’ll set it up. If not, I’ll tell him that you don’t want to see him. You don’t have to decide anything now, and you can always change your mind.”

“I don’t want to meet him.”

“Honey maybe you should take some time to think about it.”

“I don’t need to think about it. I have you, and Jay. I don’t need him. I’ve never felt bad because I didn’t have a dad, it’s just annoying when Karen makes games and stuff that require dads when she knows that I don’t have one. Or didn’t. Cause I mean, I’ve got Jay now... Right?”

“Yes. You do, he’s promised me numerous times that he’d always be there for us.”

“He told me that too. Plus, I can change my mind later, right?”

“Yes, you absolutely can.”

“Okay, then I don’t want to meet him. He chose to exit my life, I get to choose when or if he re-enters it.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE MONTHS LATER

You still hadn’t spoken with Jay about the things he said, mostly due to the fact that he didn’t seem to remember them. It was still partly due to your cowardice though. In your defence, you had a daughter to think about. You couldn’t drag a parade of men and women through your daughter’s life, that wouldn’t be good for her emotional development. And to make things worse Calanthe had gotten attached to Jay. He was now a regular fixture in her life. They went to her ballet recitals and hockey games together. He came over for dinner most days, brought you lunch when he could, and he had taken you both to numerous District 21 fundraisers and events. You’d been ignoring the impending explosion, just focusing on enjoying the three of you as a loving, supportive, healthy unit. “Oh hey, someone tell Halstead his girl is here.” You froze, trying to slow your heartbeat. “She’s not Halstead’s girl.” Erin’s tone, glare, and gritted teeth were more than enough to make the officers shrink away in fear. Not you though, she didn’t scare you. “Detective!” Trudy barked out, eyes lit with fire, “you are a Chicago police officer, not a character on One Tree Hill. Calm down and behave yourself.Y/N, I’ll let Chuckles know you’re here.”

“Thanks, Trudy. Calanthe and I made your favourite cookies the other day so I brought you some.”

“You two are heaven-sent, I swear.” She gave you one of her dazzling smiles as Jay came down the stairs. “Good morning gorgeous. What did I do to deserve this visit? And treats?” His smile was contagious, filling you with energy. “Trudy’s favourite? Y/N, I’m hurt.”

“Hey! You’re practically married to her! Let me have my happiness!” Jay ducked his head and put his hand on your lower back. You were guided over to the office off to the side of the entrance. “Thanks for the cookies but what are you doing here?”

“It’s about Calanthe.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that... Calanthe’s school is having a father-daughter dance... And they won’t let me take her. The PTA bitch Karen said that her dad has to bring her. And... I know that this is a lot-”

“Yes. When is it?” 

“Two weeks on Saturday. But would you mind if you pretend you don’t know? Calanthe wants to ask you herself, I just wanted to make sure that you were actually okay with her asking.” He smiled softly, gently rubbing up and down your arms and pulling you closer. “This is the best news I’ve heard all day. Seriously. I am looking forward to this evening even more now. Calanthe... You... I don’t want to imagine a life without either of you. You two have become incredibly important to me... And I have never been more grateful for anything in my life. I love you- I love both of you.” His eyes were wide, his voice had become panicked at the end. “We love you too.” You wrapped your arms around his middle and tucked yourself into him. You could feel his body exhale against you as he returned the gesture.

“Is the PTA bitch’s name actually Karen?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What smells so good?”

“Mom’s making boxty! She said it’s basically an Irish potato pancake.”

“Boxty? I haven’t had that since I was a kid.”

“Mom said that you said that you missed your mom’s cooking, so she asked Willie if she could borrow your mom’s cookbook.”

“She did all that? For me?”

“Yeah.”

“And my brother actually lets you call him ‘Willie’ he hates it when I do that!”

“Well, I’m cute, so...”

“Oh!,” a hand went to his chest while a look of mock hurt plastered itself on his face, just below his beaming eyes, “and I’m not? I’m hurt Calanthe, hurt. You know what this means... You get a visit from the tickle monster!”

“Eep!”

You entered the living room to announce that dinner was ready when Jay was just about to catch your daughter. “Mom!” She darted behind your legs, “don’t let him tickle me!”

“Oh, so the tickle monster came out, huh?”

“Yes, but in my defence, she implied that I’m not cute.”

“Well you’re not cute,” He tried to hide but you could see his body deflate and his eyes dim, “you’re smokin’ hot.” He perked up instantly visibly happier than before. “Ewwwwwwww mom!”

“Alright guys, go wash up before your dinner gets cold.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Jay... Is it okay if I ask you something?” His eyes darted to you before returning to your daughter’s nervous form. “Of course, you can ask me anything, always.”

“In two weeks, on Saturday, there’s a dance. At my school. It’s a father-daughter dance. And I know that you- you’re not... My dad... But I’d like you to be...” Your heart was stuttering and soaring at her words, “I- will you come with me? To the dance?”

“Yes,” You were shocked by the hoarseness in his voice, “there is nothing I would rather do more.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mom?”

“I’ve already read you two stories, it’s time for bed now.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask.”

“What were you going to ask, then?”

“Do you love Jay?”

“Honey... I... Yes. I do.”

“I think he loves you too.”

“Honey-”

“You should date him. That’s what people do when they love each other, right?”

“Yes, you’re right. Tell you what, after the dance, I’ll talk to him.”

“Yay!”

“Now go to sleep.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two weeks flew by, you’d gone dress shopping and gotten her a dress that your pants-only daughter was, for once, excited to wear. 

You were growing antsy. Anxiety gnawing at your insides, making you quite jittery. “Eep!” You jumped up, startled before seeing that it was only Natalie. “Oh, Nat. Sorry, hi, uh, what’s up?”

“I’d ask you how much coffee you had this morning but I know you hate coffee. So, are you going to tell me what’s making you so nervous”

“I... After the dance at Calanthe’s school, I’m going to talk to Jay.”

“About?”

“Feelings. My feelings. About him.”

“Really? This is great Y/N! Just take some deep breaths, okay? I know that this is nerve-wracking. But I think that you’ll feel better once it’s all out in the open.”

“I think so too.” Your best friend hugged you, intended on instilling you with ease and calmness. “Now,” you separated and straightened up, “I need a consult. Tender age male with a gnarly broken leg.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day had finally arrived. Calanthe was deciding what shoes to wear when you heard a knock on the door. Confused as to who was at the door because Jay has a key, you opened the door, and Kelly was there. In a suit. “What are you doing here, Kelly?”

“I heard that Calanthe’s school was having a father-daughter dance. So I’m here.”

“Kelly, what are you doing?”

“I’m here to take my kid to a dance.”

“She is not your kid. She is the biological daughter you abandoned before she was even born.”

“I have the right to-”

“You signed away your parental rights years ago.”

“Well, who is she going to go with, then?”

“Jay.”

“Halstead?”

“Yes.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

“Lower your voice and mind your tone when you talk to me. The only time you have ever shown interest in my daughter was when your girlfriend started asking questions. My daughter does not deserve to be thrown aside when you lose interest. She does not deserve to have you pop in and out of her life when it suits you. After your first ‘visit’ I asked her if she wanted to meet you, she said ‘no’. You need to respect that.”

“I don’t need to. She is MY daughter! Not his!”

“You need to go. Calanthe asked him. Calanthe chose him.”

“Calanthe chose him, or you chose him?”

“This conversation is over.” You tried to slam the door but he blocked it with his foot and pushed the door open. Entering your home without permission. “Kelly, you need to leave. Now!”

“NO! I am going to take MY daughter to her school dance, and then we will go out for ice cream with Penelope!”

“Mom?”

“You must be Calanthe. I’m Kelly Severide your-”

“Kelly-” He shoved you into the brick wall on the left side of the apartment. 

“-I am your father. I’m taking you to the dance and for ice cream. Come on.”

“No. Don’t touch me, and get away from my mom!”

“Calanthe, don’t be difficult.”

“I want Jay!” Your daughter shrunk behind you when she saw the look on Kelly’s face. “What are you doing here Severide?”

“Taking MY daughter to the father-daughter dance Halstead!”

“It doesn’t look like they want you here. I think you should leave... Y/N why is one side of your face all scraped up?”

“Jay...”

“Get out or I’m calling for backup.”

“Is that a threat, Halstead?”

“A promise that I will protect my family no matter what.”

“Your fam-”

“You have ten seconds to get in your car and drive away.”

“Don’t-”

“Ten, nine-”

“Halstead-”

“Eight, seven, six-”

“FINE!”

Kelly stormed out and was gone by the time Jay got to one. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. We’re both fine.”

“I’m glad you’re here Jay.” she gripped his waist as tight as she could, he responded by wrapping his arms around the top of her shoulders. “So am I.”

“You two should get going, or you’ll be late.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“The three of us have been looking forward to this for weeks. You two are going to go to that dance, and I am going to Natalie’s for pizza and nature documentaries. Kelly Severide be damned. And then after all that we are going to come back here and have a double chocolate cake.”

“Alright. That sounds good to me. Calanthe!”

“Let’s gooooooooooooo! We’re going to be late.” Jay allowed the pint-size human to drag him out the door, laughing all the way.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You slammed the door, furious. You’d had fun at Natalie’s, until you had to leave early. At first, you had brushed off all questions about your minor injuries. Once the pizzas were finished and you’d watched three episodes of This Strange Rock on Netflix, you could hold them back anymore. Everyone was shocked at Kelly’s behaviour.

*FLASHBACK*  
“I don’t even know how he found out what school she goes to, much less that there was a father-daughter dance. He said that he heard about it, but from who? I only told you guys.” Natalie, Ava, Maggie, April, Sylvie, and Kim all shook their heads. Gabby and Erin looked very interested in their glasses of wine suddenly. Something that didn’t go unnoticed and made you sit up straighter. “Gabby? Erin? Do you know anything?”

Kim’s eyes suddenly widened in realization. “You didn’t. Erin, tell me you didn’t.”

Gabby and Erin looked at each other before pursing their lips. “He deserved to know Y/N.”

“No, he didn’t Gabby! He gave up his parental rights before Calanthe was even born! The only reason he ever came around was because he got a girlfriend! And the only reason she found out about my daughter is because you told her!”

“Hey! Don’t get mad at her for doing the right thing Y/N!”

“Erin, Jay doesn’t love you. I’m sorry that you feel hurt but you need to stop acting like this! You almost got Adam and I killed today! You blew our cover because you feel entitled to Jay! You need to stop. He loves her, everyone can see that.”

“What did you two do, anyway?”

“April, you’re Kelly’s friend-”

“Yes I am, but I know when not to tell Kelly things! He’s impulsive and possessive when he’s not drinking a shelf a night, it’s a thousand times worse than when he is! And even then, Kelly did sign away his rights a long time ago. He can’t just change his mind about it. Y/N has said, numerous times, that if Calanthe wants to meet Kelly she’ll make it happen.”

“And my daughter said she doesn’t want to meet him. His unannounced, and illegal, visit only scared her and solidified her urge to not meet him. How could you?”

“I heard Jay talking about how excited he was to Antonio, he won’t even talk to me unless it’s case-related anymore. I didn’t have time to tell Kelly myself, but I ran into Gabby on a call and when Sylvie was busy, I told her.”

“I told Kelly, I know what it’s like to lose a child and I couldn’t let Kelly go through that.”

“KELLY DID NOT LOSE MY DAUGHTER! HE ABANDONED HER! HE MADE A CHOICE TO LEAVE AND NOT CONTACT ME! HE IS NOT THE VICTIM HERE!”

You’d grabbed your things and left, too angry to stay in the same building as those two woefully misinformed traitors. You didn’t miss the look of rage and utter disbelief on the faces of the other women as you left. Nat’s in particular. Erin and Gabby would be put in their place, that you knew.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Jay and Calanthe wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours, so you decided to angry-clean your home. And angry-cook. By the time your two favourite people returned home the entire apartment was spotless, not one stray dish or article of clothing was left unwashed and unorganized. You weren’t a neat freak so Jay raised an eyebrow at the state of your living room. “Who’s ready for cake?”

“Me!”

“Ha, well alright then. I already served up three plates. I’m assuming you want one too, Jay?”

“Absolutely.” Laughter and stories from the night flowed easily until Calanthe was yawning. It took some coaxing but you got Calanthe, upstairs, out of her dress, and in her bed. Her arm wrapped around her favourite stuffed animal, far, far away in dreamland.

“So, how was movie night?”

“I can tell by the look in your eyes, that you already know something happened.”

“Yep.”

Sigh.

“Erin told Gabby who told Kelly about Calanthe’s school and the dance. They thought that since Kelly is Calanthe’s biological daughter he’s entitled to... Her. He came around because he got a girlfriend and Gabby told her he has a daughter. And she’s been badgering him about her. I talked to Calanthe, I asked her if she wanted to meet him, and she said ‘no’. He just... I don’t know. I don’t want him to treat Calanthe like Benny treated him. Popping in and out of her life, making promises he can’t keep, and leaving messes in his wake.”

“You’re pissed, I get it. You deserve to be. I have to say, I don’t like how Erin has been behaving lately. I think I need to talk to Voight about changing partners.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? Her actions are not your fault.”

“I know, I’m just sorry you have to deal with all this drama, I guess.”

“Hey, as long as you and Calanthe are close to me, I don’t care. Drama won’t scare me away. The two of you hold a lot more importance in my life than you realize.”

“Yeah,” you shifted in your seat, nervous, “about that. Jay, I need to tell you something.” He sat up straighter his eyes tightening their focus on you. “Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“I know that you probably don’t feel this way, especially cause I’m a single mom and I doubt you would want to get involved with me knowing that she’s part of the package...” Jay suddenly sucked in air and you braced yourself for the rejection you knew was coming. That would break not only yours, but your daughter’s heart. The rejection that would ruin your friendship and be known about in detail by everyone in your social circle by the end of the week (who were you kidding it would be 48 hours max). “I am in love with you. I have been for a long time, actually, since the rubber duck incident.” A dry chuckle escaped your lips, remembering that day in the barracks. His gaze seemed magnetized because you couldn’t resist returning his gaze anymore. “I didn’t search you out after we got discharged because I knew we both needed time, otherwise we’d total our relationship. Granted that’s what’s happening now, and I have Calanthe which could complicate things... I... I am beyond a shadow of a doubt, irrevocably, in love with you Jay Halstead. And it’s okay that you don’t love me back.”

“This... Is the best day of my life.” Your questioning eyes met his elated ones as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you further into the couch and towards his athletic body. “First I get to take the little girl I’ve wished was my daughter since the day I met her, the woman I’ve been in love with since I was eighteen just told me she loves me back, and that I could one day have everything I wish for. You, as my wife, and Calanthe, as my daughter. I have been dreaming about this for so long, and when I was on pain meds, I actually dreamed that I told you, and it felt so real, but none of those dreams, fantasies, could in any way compare to the real thing. God, I love you so much. You and Calanthe... Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” The world faded, and it was just you and Jay. His chapped lips slanted against your soft ones. It was an otherworldly experience, feeling anger, doubt, and anxiety vanish. And replaced with... rightness. It was the only word that fit this feeling of knowing that he was the love you were waiting for. That he completed the puzzle embedded in your soul.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jay,” he turned to look at you holding onto your keys instead of putting them in the lock, to release Natalie of babysitting duties and effectively ending your second date, “remember how you told me about the dreams you had when you were on morphine? About telling me how you felt?”

“Yeah? What about them? You want details, don’t you?” His smirk edged closer to your giddily pursed lips. “No, well yes, but what I’m trying to say is that the confession pain med dreams weren’t actually dreams. You told me that you loved me a few times, actually, high as a kite.”

“Seriously? I did?”

“Yeah...”

“Oh my God.” His ears were flushed pink and you were giggling as you tilted his embarrassed face up to face yours. “Don’t be embarrassed, I hear worse all the time, I’m just happy that you actually meant it and that it wasn’t just pain-killer rambles.”

“Oh? Do you get a lot of men professing their love while on Tylenol three?” His mock jealousy only made you laugh. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were jealous.”

“Well it’s a good thing you do know me, and know that the only thing I am jealous of is that Will gets to spend all day working with you and I don’t.” Once the laughter almost suffocated you both, you slid the key into the lock. “Want to come inside and see Calanthe? From the sounds I can hear, she’s still up.”

“More than anything.”


End file.
